Your Vision vs. Your Passion

Since you are reading this blog, I will assume you are dreaming of a career in allied health. Disclaimer: This blog is not going to motivate you to amp up your study grind, tell you to cut out your social life, or harp on the extent of the sacrifice it will take for you to achieve your dreams in the medical field. But what it will do, if taken seriously, is make you take a second look at what could be the best or worst decision of your life. Whether directly, or indirectly, our generation has been conditioned to believe that the measure of our success, intelligence, or even worth is dependent on how much we will earn after college. We are constantly being pressured by our families, or even ourselves, to live up to the standards we have set and romanticized about. Do NOT misinterpret the point I am trying to make; in no way am I discouraging you to set high goals for yourself, or trying to prevent you from pushing yourself harder than you ever thought possible in order to reach those goals. All I am saying is this -  just make sure the dreams you are pursuing are YOUR dreams.

Before you roll your eyes and click out of this blog, hear me out. I’m sure many of you would defend yourself by saying you’ve known you wanted to become a doctor since you were 5 years old. Some of you may even have parents who are physicians, so it’s always just been expected. For me, I was always much smarter than the other kids my age, and I always overheard my family saying, “this one is our future doctor.” And eventually, it just stuck; I always just envisioned myself pursuing medicine in some form or fashion. It wasn’t until I was 13 years old and getting a cast cut off of my ankle that I developed a passion.

After my doctor’s physician assistant removed my cast, he raised his eyebrows, laughed under his breath, and said “throw in the towel”. He looked up at me, said I would never play sports again, and then proceeded to hand me a box of tissues. I hit the box of tissues out of his hands, finished lacing up my brace, and limped out of his office without another word.

At the time, there was no way I could have known the impact those patronizing and condescending comments from that man would have on my life (partly because I didn’t even know what 'patronizing' or 'condescending' even meant at that time). I would have never guessed I would be giving him a shout-out in a blog almost 10 years later, because to that 13 year old girl it was very simple; all I knew was he was wrong, and he didn’t have to believe in me because I was going to believe in myself enough for the both of us. He drove me to train harder and longer because letting him be right wasn’t an option. I went on to letter in varsity soccer as a freshman, and was the captain of my varsity basketball team and cheerleading squad for my entire high school career. I have light-heartedly told this story a thousand times, accrediting my athletic success to that PA. It wasn’t until I was much older that I was able to internalize what that encounter actually meant and was going to continue to mean to me far beyond my time as a high school athlete.

So why did I tell you all of that? If this blog is suppose to be about you, why did I just ramble on about myself? After reading my testimonial, most would assume the ending is obvious: I went on to graduate high school and pursue a career in sports medicine in order to become a healthcare provider that treats patients with the kind of compassion and empathy that I wasn’t shown when I was a patient myself. And well yes, even though you are technically right, it unfortunately took 3 years and 3 major changes to reach that point of clarity: the point where my vision for my future and my passion finally aligned.

“It’s time to grow up. Sports is a childish triviality that needs to be put in the past. Focus on your studies. Focus on your future. Start thinking like an adult.” -Dad

These are the words that were spoken to me by my dad as he forbade me to participate in my last season of high school soccer. Consequently, those words continued to play over and over in my head when I decided to attend the college he wanted. Still playing on repeat, I went off to freshman orientation and declared Biology as my major. Because that was the norm right? Choose a major and a career that is going to make you become a successful adult. And devastatingly, I was convinced that becoming a successful adult and pursuing my passion were two mutually exclusive entities.

Do Majors Matter? -Eric St John

The picture of our freshman year in college has been fabricated by movies, unrealistic Buzzfeed posts, and Pinterest boards that tell you it is going to be this magical time where everything suddenly falls into place. We are to believe that we will undergo this rapid, remarkable transformation and suddenly be shown exactly who we are, and what we will become. I hate to break it you, but unfortunately, it is much less glamorous. During this first year you are, or were, expected to choose a college major - a decision that research has shown to be the most frequently identified life regret for Americans.1  (I know I said freshman year wasn’t going to always be glamorous, but I promise it isn’t going to be depressing either…) I simply want to shine light on a something I wish I could have understood back when the whirlwind of freshman year was coming at me.

For five minutes, STOP picturing how your life will look 10 years from now. Data proves that the choice of college concentrations depend on students’ expected earnings in that particular concentration.2  I have witnessed firsthand countless friends, relatives, and classmates, (myself included) become weighed down by the amount of psychological and emotional stress that sits on their shoulders because they are pursuing majors or careers that aren’t fueled by passion; rather, anxiety about the future, financial stability, or pressure from their parents. I’m sure you’ve  heard stories from friends or relatives who have gone off to college and completely changed their majors during their junior and senior years. I’m sure you have also been lead to believe this realization was both magical and life changing. I’m not saying it wasn’t. I’m not saying your cousin didn’t have that pivotal moment in her life where she suddenly knew what she was called to do. But what I am saying is this: you don’t have to sit back and wait for this pivotal moment to come to you. You don’t have to wait until you’re given no other choice but to reevaluate your future because your GPA is staring back at you, screaming for you the stop taking those classes you care nothing about in order to obtain a career that you aren’t passionate about. You don’t have to wait until you have wasted semesters and years worth of time AND tuition before you finally see what was in front of you all along.

Right here, right now, you can differentiation between your vision and your passion. If you’re lucky, they are already one in the same. For me, my passion and my (aka, my dad’s) vision were playing in the same ballpark, so it was a long, hard process to reach this magical point of clarity everyone refers to. But the beauty of all of this is, finding your passion is a lifelong pursuit. The adult versions of ourselves are molded by the experiences we’ve been through and the adversity we’ve been faced with. Figure out what you love and what drives you. For me, sports and the injuries I had to overcome made me who I am. The encounter I had with that PA set the tone for the rest of my life (except luckily, now I am actually capable of processing my feelings when I’m faced with adversity - instead of just slapping tissue boxes out of people’s hands). I want to become the leader I needed when I was younger. I want to become a PA that believes in my patients’ post-injury goals and performance expectations. I want to hear and see my patients for who they are, for what their dreams are, not just for the injury they have suffered or the scars that remain. I was told to put sports behind me, to write if off as a fun childhood past-time; however, I refused to let my future be mapped out by anyone but myself. I refused to settle for a goal instead of a dream - for a vision instead of a passion.

I can’t promise your story, or your situation, will be as black-and-white as mine. I am also not promising the long hours of studying will become any easier or any shorter once your pursuit is fueled by passion, but I am saying it will give you the stamina to keep grinding. It will make the outcome so much more rewarding when you take hold of your future and use every present moment achieving your dreams, instead of passively allowing yourself to become engulfed by this vision you’ve created in your head of what your future is suppose to look like. Passion is not created through your parents’ dreams for your future. Passion does not align itself with what you have decided is a financially suitable career for yourself. Passion is something that is so deeply rooted that you can’t even fully describe your true self without describing whatever it is that you are passionate about.

Disclaimer: Once you find and follow your passion, you will never work a day in your life because you’ll be doing what you love… Not true people, NOT true. The presence of passion does not equivalate the absence of your blood, sweat, and tears. You might even have to work harder and longer, but with passion comes purpose. And, with a purpose-driven life comes an inability to quit, give up, or let someone or something define your success, intelligence, or worth.

1 Beggs, J., Bantham, J., & Taylor, S. (2008). Distinguishing the factors influencing college students’ choice of major. College Student Journal; Mobile 42(2): 381-394. [Questia]

2 Montmarquette, C., Cannings, K., & Mahseredjian, S. ( 2002). How do young people choose college majors? Economic of Education Review, 21(6): 543-556. [ScienceDirect]